The Wind

Old Boy always sat in the same spot.

And licks of wind scattered tufts of his fur

Like white dandelion seeds across the yard.

And he pretended the wind had hands

To pet him with

And that it didn’t care about

Fur on its fingers

Or old dog smell on its palms.

That is what the wind is for.

It takes old leaves off trees

When they are no longer

Strong enough

To hold on.

It takes yesterday’s news

When nobody

Remembers it anymore.

And the wind

Took Old Boy

Who had grown awfully tired

Of always sitting in the

Same old spot.

-Trev Cimenski

I came across this poet several week ago on TikTok, of all places, and his reading of the poem above* absolutely gutted me. I didn’t realize at the time how quickly it would resonate with me.

We said goodbye to our wonderful Hank on Friday afternoon. We took him in as a foster dog in 2016 and very quickly came to realize that we were not going to be able to part with him. He was 4 years old and an owner surrender due to a divorce and a cross-country move. I still remember the first adoption event we took him to, trying to find him a new owner. Someone showed up very excited to meet Hank, saying they had come specifically to meet him. Kyle immediately launched into a lengthy list of all the reasons why this man definitely did not want to adopt Hank – his bark is loud. He drools on everything. His farts stink. He hogs the bed. He eats a lot of food. I looked at Kyle a bit confused, thinking “what are you doing?? You’re scaring him away!”

I drove home from the event while Kyle filled out an adoption application from the passenger seat. Nobody was going to take Hank away from us.

The day Hank arrived at our house he met our resident bowling ball, Toad, and they became best friends immediately. Those two goofballs could spend hours competing to see who could snore the loudest, sleep the longest, tug the hardest.

Toad passed away in November of 2018 and Hank was heartbroken. At night he would wake us up with the most mournful howls I had ever heard, clearly dreaming about and missing his brother. A month later, we adopted Enoki thinking that Hank would appreciate a new companion.

Hank was skeptical at first, and Enoki was certainly no replacement for his best friend, but Hank opened up to him eventually and reluctantly showed him the ropes.

I never met a dog who loved basking in the scorching summer sun for hours, and was equally excited to leap around in the snow, eating mouthfuls to his heart’s content.

We then adopted Rolo in 2020 to complete our trio, but Hank never bonded with either of them the way he had with Toad. He loved them, and watched out for them, and cared for them, but it wasn’t the same.

The average lifespan for an English Mastiff is about 7 years, and so every year when he turned 8, then 9, then 10 we braced ourselves for the inevitable and counted our blessings that he was still with us. When we came up with our crazy idea to move to North Carolina, one of the reasons we wanted to move so quickly was to try to give Hank at least a few months to enjoy fresh air and wide open spaces. The universe gave him a full year.

Hank was the sweetest boy. All he wanted in life was to be loved, and I hope we made him feel that every day.

And now that the wind has taken Old Boy from us, I hope he has found happiness, and I hope Toad was waiting to greet him.

*Trev Cimenski’s book of poetry, Orangutan Teeth, is available on the ‘zon and is full of beautiful, melancholy, though-provoking poetry. I bought three copies so that I always have one on hand to give as a gift.

5 responses to “The Wind”

  1. tearful alice Avatar
    tearful alice

    We love our sweet babies so deeply. And some dogs live deeper in our hearts. I am so sorry. But you are so fortunate to have had him in your life!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sarah Han Avatar
    Sarah Han

    Oh my goodness. Toad is so happy to be with Hank, I absolutely believe this. You and Peter gave him the best life! Sending love. And Enoki might be sad for a while too.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Katie Gehlhar Avatar

    I’m so very sorry for your loss! He looks so happy and content in all the pictures. May sweet memories of your years with him comfort you both!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. don anderson Avatar
    don anderson

    What a wonderfully sincere and remarkably written tribute to a friend and companion. I wish you long memories of your times with your friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. don anderson Avatar
    don anderson

    Dog Gone

    Sleep well little friend
    Let your eyes now close,
    Your time has come
    To claim repose.
    Dream of your dish
    Your soft snug bed,
    Let sleepy dreams
    Replace dark dread.
    Your nights of guarding
    Castle grand and days
    Of fetching on command,
    Have slipped your
    Furry little hold.
    Let dreams of those
    Days now enfold
    Your worried little
    Friendly mind,
    Go toward the light
    Fetch peace – go find!
    d.a.

    Liked by 2 people

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